worry vs. concern

Hello again, friends!

How many things have you worried about in your life?

How many things have you worried about today?

Worry is ruminative speculation of what will go wrong. An anticipation of worst case scenarios and basically a form of self torment.

Very much a "what if" type of thinking.

Sometimes things genuinely need our attention and so that is where we can choose concern over worry.

Concern is a calculated rational assessment of the actual potential problem. Concern is more fact based and is very much constructive.

Would you rather deal with facts? Or fiction?

When we come from a place of concern vs worry we can think clearer.

Worry is fixating on a pain in the body and says "What if I have a terminal illness?..."...which just leads to panic.

Concern is "If I continue to feel this way I will make an appointment with a doctor."

Concern leads to problem solving.

Worry is living in the future (which isn't possible) and is just a habit.

Wait...I will say that one again.

Worry is just a habit. That is all.

Because the unknown is so uncomfortable we come up with worse case scenarios in our head to create the illusion of control of our future. But, it doesn't prepare us. It just diminishes our ability to handle situations.

Concern is living in the present with action taking. It is a normal reaction to a problem or challenge.

Worry comes from lack of faith and makes us retreat.
Concern comes from confidence and faith in ourselves and creates action.

Ask yourself "Do these thoughts serve me and my situation or do they just hurt me?"

We will never eliminate bad things from happening. But we can eliminate needless rumination that brings negativity and panic into our lives.

Remember worry is a habit. If you find yourself in rumination just pause. And choose again.

My clients are learning how to recognize and stop the ruminating thoughts in their tracks.

I help my clients feel better. That is what I do.

If you are a chronic worrier and want help changing click here and let's have a conversation about how I can help you, too.

Keep going and expect miracles, are you worried?

-Allison

The belief lid.

Happy September, Y'all!

My business coach once told us this next story. She referenced it many times saying it was done by a scientist. Full disclosure: as I researched for this newsletter, I searched the web for statistics but found little about the actual study.

BUT, I literally believe whatever any of my coaches have told me. None of them have ever steered me wrong so now I offer it to you....

Picture a collection of fleas in a glass jar.

These tiny creatures, driven by their instinct to leap to extraordinary heights – up to a staggering 100 times their own weight, soaring as high as 20 centimeters – would naturally surpass the confines of the jar.

But then, a lid is firmly placed on top of the jar. Unfazed by this obstacle, the fleas, driven by their innate nature, now pound against the lid, only to be constricted by the lid and plummet back to the bottom.

Over time, they start to jump a bit lower, instinctively avoiding the painful collision with the lid. Eventually, they cease hitting the lid altogether.

Fast forward as they are untouched for three days, the lid is removed, and you won't believe what happens. The fleas, having learned the safe maximum height they can reach without injury, never again attempting to leap out of the jar.

Never again.

What's even more fascinating is that their offspring perpetuate this behavior indefinitely. The new standard of leaping height becomes ingrained and passed down from generation to generation. These fleas, in essence, have conditioned themselves to jump lower, convinced that anything higher is impossible, even when the opportunity is there.

Now, you might think, "What relevance does it have for us humans?"

Here's the twist...we humans possess an unparalleled advantage in the animal kingdom: our capacity for rational thought. Yet this is directly connected to our setbacks.

We are creatures of reason. Our beautiful brains are woven with intricate thought processes, ideas, and analytical capabilities combined with thought associations, memories and experiences. What we see in our surroundings, the people we interact with, the knowledge we acquire, all combine to shape our perception of our reality.

In essence, the environment we grow up in and live within molds our identity and influences our thought patterns or beliefs.

What paradigms have you created as a result of the setbacks you've encountered? What do YOU believe is your true capability? The ability to shape the life you aspire to lies within your grasp, but it is absolutely born in your mind first. Adversity is inevitable, but if you refuse to let these challenges dictate how you see your world, viewing them as temporary obstacles rather than permanent barriers, you'll be amazed at what you can really accomplish.

I ask you...where or what is your belief lid?

Expect miracles friends and jump a little higher,

-Allison

What is your capacity?

Happy Day, Friends!

Did you ever stop and ask yourself what is your capacity?

There is a great autobiography by David Goggins called "Can't Hurt Me"

David is a retired navy seal (among other things) and endured 3 hell weeks within a one year period along with running on two broken legs.

Read his book.

He has now dedicated his life to persistently building his tolerance to pain and discomfort and has defied many odds in the process. A process that literally started with his thoughts.

He fascinates me.

See, our capacity is born and evolves in our own mind first.

Goggins is a human just as we are. So if he can do it why can't we?

Now you may not want to run on two broken legs but that isn't the point.

Humans are more capable then they think they are. There are many stories of human beings pushed to the brink and in certain moments doing miraculous things they never knew possible. David Goggins being one of many.

So I will ask you again.

What is your capacity?

Do you really even know?

Does anyone really know?

In my opinion it is one of the most important and profound questions to explore. And if you have kids definitely a conversation to have with them. I am planting that seed early with my daughter that her capacity is her choice. Her parents won't define it, a boss won't define it, a partner, a teacher...nobody but her.

Many people determine their capabilities by looking at their family history or personal past, but this is often a result of habitual thinking patterns. This is why you also should never ask friends or family what they believe your capacity is as they tend to form judgments based on past experiences. It's not their fault; they can't always see us for what we can be, they see us for what we already are. Make sense? This is also a leading reason it is hard for us to see as well.

It's a common challenge for us to envision ourselves beyond our past.

This is one of the sole reasons I instantly became enamoured with coaching.

My coaches see past my day to day decisions and see my capabilities. She sees them before I do and without evidence. My first coach showed me my potential capacity at that time and although it felt impossible in those days it instilled new beliefs about what is possible which forever changed me.

My knees actually hit the floor in terror when I thought about taking the actions she was offering. It scared the living shit out of me and that is how I knew I had to run towards it. Guess what? I survived. I actually thrived and working with her fast tracked me to my goals.

You control your capacity. Not your environment. Not your past. Not your family history.

You do!

Now I challenge you.

When is the last time you challenged and pushed yourself through crushing doubt, fear or pain?

How did it feel when you got through to the other side and you lived to tell the tale.

What else can you do to expand your capacity?

I believe your brain is offering you things right now and I want you to run towards them. The things you say you will never do is definitely where you should start. :)

You deserve to see just how far you can take this one ride we all get.

Keep going, my friend, and expect miracles as if your life depends on it.

-Allison

Do you like your reasons?

Happy Day!

Coaching is really just powerful thought provoking questioning...and this one is REALLY good.

Whenever you make decisions today I want you to ask yourself this very simple question first-

Do I like my reasons?

Your brain is constantly offering you direction to take throughout your day. 
Do you like your reasons for why you are deciding to do or not do any given task?

Take a moment to explore the underlying reasons for your decisions. When you start to dissect your reasoning for your decisions you start to look at what motivates you.

Do you like what you find?

Understanding the roots of your choices empowers you to then make more intentional decisions IF you don't like what you see is motivating you.

So much power lies in knowing why you do what you do.

You are in charge of your own life and the more you know why you do what you do the more in charge you can become.

I absolutely help my clients understand why they do what they do. Once they are more aware, together, we work on aligning their actions with their ultimate goals.

If this sounds like something you want (productivity with purpose) get on my calendar for a free 45 minute consult clarity call to learn more about what is keeping you stuck. Then we can make a plan to take purposeful action. My clients are truly living better and I want that for you too! You deserve it!

Keep going, my friend, and expect miracles all day, every day, and love your reasons for doing so...

-Allison