worry vs. concern

Hello again, friends!

How many things have you worried about in your life?

How many things have you worried about today?

Worry is ruminative speculation of what will go wrong. An anticipation of worst case scenarios and basically a form of self torment.

Very much a "what if" type of thinking.

Sometimes things genuinely need our attention and so that is where we can choose concern over worry.

Concern is a calculated rational assessment of the actual potential problem. Concern is more fact based and is very much constructive.

Would you rather deal with facts? Or fiction?

When we come from a place of concern vs worry we can think clearer.

Worry is fixating on a pain in the body and says "What if I have a terminal illness?..."...which just leads to panic.

Concern is "If I continue to feel this way I will make an appointment with a doctor."

Concern leads to problem solving.

Worry is living in the future (which isn't possible) and is just a habit.

Wait...I will say that one again.

Worry is just a habit. That is all.

Because the unknown is so uncomfortable we come up with worse case scenarios in our head to create the illusion of control of our future. But, it doesn't prepare us. It just diminishes our ability to handle situations.

Concern is living in the present with action taking. It is a normal reaction to a problem or challenge.

Worry comes from lack of faith and makes us retreat.
Concern comes from confidence and faith in ourselves and creates action.

Ask yourself "Do these thoughts serve me and my situation or do they just hurt me?"

We will never eliminate bad things from happening. But we can eliminate needless rumination that brings negativity and panic into our lives.

Remember worry is a habit. If you find yourself in rumination just pause. And choose again.

My clients are learning how to recognize and stop the ruminating thoughts in their tracks.

I help my clients feel better. That is what I do.

If you are a chronic worrier and want help changing click here and let's have a conversation about how I can help you, too.

Keep going and expect miracles, are you worried?

-Allison

The belief lid.

Happy September, Y'all!

My business coach once told us this next story. She referenced it many times saying it was done by a scientist. Full disclosure: as I researched for this newsletter, I searched the web for statistics but found little about the actual study.

BUT, I literally believe whatever any of my coaches have told me. None of them have ever steered me wrong so now I offer it to you....

Picture a collection of fleas in a glass jar.

These tiny creatures, driven by their instinct to leap to extraordinary heights – up to a staggering 100 times their own weight, soaring as high as 20 centimeters – would naturally surpass the confines of the jar.

But then, a lid is firmly placed on top of the jar. Unfazed by this obstacle, the fleas, driven by their innate nature, now pound against the lid, only to be constricted by the lid and plummet back to the bottom.

Over time, they start to jump a bit lower, instinctively avoiding the painful collision with the lid. Eventually, they cease hitting the lid altogether.

Fast forward as they are untouched for three days, the lid is removed, and you won't believe what happens. The fleas, having learned the safe maximum height they can reach without injury, never again attempting to leap out of the jar.

Never again.

What's even more fascinating is that their offspring perpetuate this behavior indefinitely. The new standard of leaping height becomes ingrained and passed down from generation to generation. These fleas, in essence, have conditioned themselves to jump lower, convinced that anything higher is impossible, even when the opportunity is there.

Now, you might think, "What relevance does it have for us humans?"

Here's the twist...we humans possess an unparalleled advantage in the animal kingdom: our capacity for rational thought. Yet this is directly connected to our setbacks.

We are creatures of reason. Our beautiful brains are woven with intricate thought processes, ideas, and analytical capabilities combined with thought associations, memories and experiences. What we see in our surroundings, the people we interact with, the knowledge we acquire, all combine to shape our perception of our reality.

In essence, the environment we grow up in and live within molds our identity and influences our thought patterns or beliefs.

What paradigms have you created as a result of the setbacks you've encountered? What do YOU believe is your true capability? The ability to shape the life you aspire to lies within your grasp, but it is absolutely born in your mind first. Adversity is inevitable, but if you refuse to let these challenges dictate how you see your world, viewing them as temporary obstacles rather than permanent barriers, you'll be amazed at what you can really accomplish.

I ask you...where or what is your belief lid?

Expect miracles friends and jump a little higher,

-Allison

your brain is a courtroom

Another Great Day, Friends!

I just heard this magical comparison describing our brain and I just had to share it with you.

Your brain is a courtroom.....stay with me here you are going to love this.

Your mind has a defense and a prosecution, and they are both arguing in your head for their case.

The part of you that can watch your mind think (your spirit/higher self) is the judge. He/she just sits unattached, watches, and listens.

The defense is arguing the case of what you want to truly believe and result you want to create in your life. The goals you want to accomplish. The weight you want to lose. The career change you want to make. The love-of-your life you know is out there.

The prosecution is arguing for why it's not working and it will never work. The prosecution is the one that spews the not enough or see I told you so, or you can't do anything right...your crappy thoughts.

Whichever presents the stronger case with the most convincing evidence wins. You either get what you want or you don't.

And here is a hint, the brain naturally has a negative bias so too often we let the prosecution win.

You have to keep strengthening your defense to create the evidence to support the argument of the results you want to create in your life.

You have to practice this over and over and over.

This is life changing work. You deserve to let the defense win!

Do you feel stuck and want my personalized help here is how to work with me one-on-one:

If you're interested in working together, let's have a 30-45 minute clarity consult where we can discuss a specific issue you may be facing or uncover what is holding you back. We can then create a plan how to address them, and if you wish, with my help, you'll reach that goal faster!! 
Interested? You deserve to have it all! 
Schedule a time on my calendar for our clarity call --> right here.

Excited to continue this journey with you!

Keep going and expect miracles like there is no other option,

-Allison

What is your capacity?

Happy Day, Friends!

Did you ever stop and ask yourself what is your capacity?

There is a great autobiography by David Goggins called "Can't Hurt Me"

David is a retired navy seal (among other things) and endured 3 hell weeks within a one year period along with running on two broken legs.

Read his book.

He has now dedicated his life to persistently building his tolerance to pain and discomfort and has defied many odds in the process. A process that literally started with his thoughts.

He fascinates me.

See, our capacity is born and evolves in our own mind first.

Goggins is a human just as we are. So if he can do it why can't we?

Now you may not want to run on two broken legs but that isn't the point.

Humans are more capable then they think they are. There are many stories of human beings pushed to the brink and in certain moments doing miraculous things they never knew possible. David Goggins being one of many.

So I will ask you again.

What is your capacity?

Do you really even know?

Does anyone really know?

In my opinion it is one of the most important and profound questions to explore. And if you have kids definitely a conversation to have with them. I am planting that seed early with my daughter that her capacity is her choice. Her parents won't define it, a boss won't define it, a partner, a teacher...nobody but her.

Many people determine their capabilities by looking at their family history or personal past, but this is often a result of habitual thinking patterns. This is why you also should never ask friends or family what they believe your capacity is as they tend to form judgments based on past experiences. It's not their fault; they can't always see us for what we can be, they see us for what we already are. Make sense? This is also a leading reason it is hard for us to see as well.

It's a common challenge for us to envision ourselves beyond our past.

This is one of the sole reasons I instantly became enamoured with coaching.

My coaches see past my day to day decisions and see my capabilities. She sees them before I do and without evidence. My first coach showed me my potential capacity at that time and although it felt impossible in those days it instilled new beliefs about what is possible which forever changed me.

My knees actually hit the floor in terror when I thought about taking the actions she was offering. It scared the living shit out of me and that is how I knew I had to run towards it. Guess what? I survived. I actually thrived and working with her fast tracked me to my goals.

You control your capacity. Not your environment. Not your past. Not your family history.

You do!

Now I challenge you.

When is the last time you challenged and pushed yourself through crushing doubt, fear or pain?

How did it feel when you got through to the other side and you lived to tell the tale.

What else can you do to expand your capacity?

I believe your brain is offering you things right now and I want you to run towards them. The things you say you will never do is definitely where you should start. :)

You deserve to see just how far you can take this one ride we all get.

Keep going, my friend, and expect miracles as if your life depends on it.

-Allison

What we can learn from Sting

Hi Again, Friend,

Did you know that Sting was a teacher before he became...well... STING?

Yep.

He taught for two years at St. Paul's in Cramlington, England. Did the kids he taught ever know that he was going to be a famous musician and singer one day? Probably not.

But he loved music, was performing at night, and had a tugging at his heart to pursue this music thing.

Sting once confessed how awful he was at teaching.

Maybe because his gift is music and that's what his purpose is while on this earth.

Could you imagine if he ignored that burning desire in his soul? That scary tug of the crazy unknown risk? What if he played it safe instead? We would never have experienced his 30+ years of music. His unique sound and song writing.

It doesn't matter how you feel about his music. He has made a pretty big impact on this world donating to over 158 charities and starting his own foundation with his wife.

All because he bet on himself instead of walking the "safe" path that was instilled in him.

He chose to believe before seeing the evidence.

Do you know how powerful it is to BELIEVE before there is any evidence to lean on? Pure faith in HIMSELF.

He is handing you the evidence to see that you don't need any evidence!

Do you see that?

Are you playing it safe? Do you have a scary tugging in your heart to do something that if said out loud you would sound insane?

What is tugging at your heart? Stop and say it out loud.

Are you hoping it goes away but it keeps getting louder?

I hate to break it to you but it is innate. It isn't going anywhere.

What if you decided to listen and just explore it? Get curious about it.

Maybe you could bet on yourself too....

Because if you ask me....YOU are YOUR safest bet. You are your only bet.

Do you see how powerful this all is?

This is life changing work. You are here to live your purpose. Bet on that.

Keep going, and expect miracles no matter where you are,

- Allison

Do you like your reasons?

Happy Day!

Coaching is really just powerful thought provoking questioning...and this one is REALLY good.

Whenever you make decisions today I want you to ask yourself this very simple question first-

Do I like my reasons?

Your brain is constantly offering you direction to take throughout your day. 
Do you like your reasons for why you are deciding to do or not do any given task?

Take a moment to explore the underlying reasons for your decisions. When you start to dissect your reasoning for your decisions you start to look at what motivates you.

Do you like what you find?

Understanding the roots of your choices empowers you to then make more intentional decisions IF you don't like what you see is motivating you.

So much power lies in knowing why you do what you do.

You are in charge of your own life and the more you know why you do what you do the more in charge you can become.

I absolutely help my clients understand why they do what they do. Once they are more aware, together, we work on aligning their actions with their ultimate goals.

If this sounds like something you want (productivity with purpose) get on my calendar for a free 45 minute consult clarity call to learn more about what is keeping you stuck. Then we can make a plan to take purposeful action. My clients are truly living better and I want that for you too! You deserve it!

Keep going, my friend, and expect miracles all day, every day, and love your reasons for doing so...

-Allison

3 good ways to look at failure

Happy Day Everyone!

Failure is always a loaded topic with clients so I want to help everyone see it a bit differently.

How willing are you to fail?

When you're striving to achieve a new personal or professional goal, make a life change, develop a new habit, or transform yourself, failure is going to happen!

You are human, remember!

But, failure doesn't have to be dreadful, in fact, it can be a great thing!

It took me years to truly believe this—years and a lot of money spent on coaches to help me change my belief about failure.

I actually went from believing "I am a failure" , to believing, "failure doesn't exist"!

This is how I want you, my clients, everyone I meet, and especially my daughter to view failure when attempting to reach a new goal.

So, here are 3 shifts I made in helping me change my belief about failure.

1. Failing is just information. 
Failing is learning. It means you tried something and didn't get the result you wanted. It doesn't mean you are going backwards or you are incapable. It just means that road didn't get you there so you need to try a new road.

Along the journey make sure you assess what is working, what isn't working, and what you will do differently then keep going with that information.

This is key!

2. Failure just means you are taking action, which builds resilience and momentum. 
Failing means you are taking the risks needed to get the new result in your life you want. Congratulations! Facing and overcoming failure builds mental and emotional resilience. Each failure tests your commitment and persistence toward your goals. In that journey you are becoming more of who you were meant to be. Again, congratulations! The opposite of failure is doing nothing. You are no longer pursuing your goals when you do nothing.

If you allow it, failure also teaches you to handle setbacks with grace and determination.

Would you rather fail taking action or take no action at all and get zero results?

3. Failing is saving you time. 
Yes, failing saves time. Failing means you will never go down that road again. You will know it didn't work OR you will redo it in a way that could work better. Failure can create efficiency if you allow it to.

I look at every failure as it is just information. That I am learning. I am getting closer to learning what the path is to my next goal. That I am taking action and I will eventually get to the result I want. This creates excitement and curiosity!

That's it!

This is what I do for my clients as well. 
I hold belief that they can achieve any goals they desire. 
So failing is just information of what isn't working. As long as they keep at it, in time, the results will come!

But it always starts with what you are believing about your failures.

Belief matters.

If you are not willing to put yourself out there and risk failure then you probably aren't succeeding at the level you could.

I can help you with this! 
One free call to see if we are the right fit. On that call you will gain clarity on why you may be struggling or how to get to your goals faster. Such invaluable knowledge whether we work together or not. CLICK HERE to schedule a time that works for you.

Expect miracles my friends, even in the failures,

-Allison