worry vs. concern
Hello again, friends!
How many things have you worried about in your life?
How many things have you worried about today?
Worry is ruminative speculation of what will go wrong. An anticipation of worst case scenarios and basically a form of self torment.
Very much a "what if" type of thinking.
Sometimes things genuinely need our attention and so that is where we can choose concern over worry.
Concern is a calculated rational assessment of the actual potential problem. Concern is more fact based and is very much constructive.
Would you rather deal with facts? Or fiction?
When we come from a place of concern vs worry we can think clearer.
Worry is fixating on a pain in the body and says "What if I have a terminal illness?..."...which just leads to panic.
Concern is "If I continue to feel this way I will make an appointment with a doctor."
Concern leads to problem solving.
Worry is living in the future (which isn't possible) and is just a habit.
Wait...I will say that one again.
Worry is just a habit. That is all.
Because the unknown is so uncomfortable we come up with worse case scenarios in our head to create the illusion of control of our future. But, it doesn't prepare us. It just diminishes our ability to handle situations.
Concern is living in the present with action taking. It is a normal reaction to a problem or challenge.
Worry comes from lack of faith and makes us retreat.
Concern comes from confidence and faith in ourselves and creates action.
Ask yourself "Do these thoughts serve me and my situation or do they just hurt me?"
We will never eliminate bad things from happening. But we can eliminate needless rumination that brings negativity and panic into our lives.
Remember worry is a habit. If you find yourself in rumination just pause. And choose again.
My clients are learning how to recognize and stop the ruminating thoughts in their tracks.
I help my clients feel better. That is what I do.
Keep going and expect miracles, are you worried?
-Allison
What is your capacity?
Humans are more capable then they think they are. There are many stories of human beings pushed to the brink and in certain moments doing miraculous things they never knew possible. David Goggins being one of many.
Happy Day, Friends!
Did you ever stop and ask yourself what is your capacity?
There is a great autobiography by David Goggins called "Can't Hurt Me"
David is a retired navy seal (among other things) and endured 3 hell weeks within a one year period along with running on two broken legs.
Read his book.
He has now dedicated his life to persistently building his tolerance to pain and discomfort and has defied many odds in the process. A process that literally started with his thoughts.
He fascinates me.
See, our capacity is born and evolves in our own mind first.
Goggins is a human just as we are. So if he can do it why can't we?
Now you may not want to run on two broken legs but that isn't the point.
Humans are more capable then they think they are. There are many stories of human beings pushed to the brink and in certain moments doing miraculous things they never knew possible. David Goggins being one of many.
So I will ask you again.
What is your capacity?
Do you really even know?
Does anyone really know?
In my opinion it is one of the most important and profound questions to explore. And if you have kids definitely a conversation to have with them. I am planting that seed early with my daughter that her capacity is her choice. Her parents won't define it, a boss won't define it, a partner, a teacher...nobody but her.
Many people determine their capabilities by looking at their family history or personal past, but this is often a result of habitual thinking patterns. This is why you also should never ask friends or family what they believe your capacity is as they tend to form judgments based on past experiences. It's not their fault; they can't always see us for what we can be, they see us for what we already are. Make sense? This is also a leading reason it is hard for us to see as well.
It's a common challenge for us to envision ourselves beyond our past.
This is one of the sole reasons I instantly became enamoured with coaching.
My coaches see past my day to day decisions and see my capabilities. She sees them before I do and without evidence. My first coach showed me my potential capacity at that time and although it felt impossible in those days it instilled new beliefs about what is possible which forever changed me.
My knees actually hit the floor in terror when I thought about taking the actions she was offering. It scared the living shit out of me and that is how I knew I had to run towards it. Guess what? I survived. I actually thrived and working with her fast tracked me to my goals.
You control your capacity. Not your environment. Not your past. Not your family history.
You do!
Now I challenge you.
When is the last time you challenged and pushed yourself through crushing doubt, fear or pain?
How did it feel when you got through to the other side and you lived to tell the tale.
What else can you do to expand your capacity?
I believe your brain is offering you things right now and I want you to run towards them. The things you say you will never do is definitely where you should start. :)
You deserve to see just how far you can take this one ride we all get.
Keep going, my friend, and expect miracles as if your life depends on it.